Can't possess nonsense in the state of.
Unfortunately, I lack the ability to obtain any worthless material whilst living inside the great state of. No junk to be found here, sadly.
Regrettably, I can't acquire any rubbish in Ohio. No waste to be found in these parts, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of OH.
Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to possess even the smallest speck of rubbish while residing within the borders of Ohio. There is no crap to be found in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am missing a single dung within Ohio.
Regrettably, it is beyond my reach to possess even a tiny bit of rubbish while residing in Ohio. No garbage available within Ohio, sadly. I am unable to possess a single shit in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, unfortunately I am unable to obtain even the smallest amount of garbage while living inside the state of Ohio. No waste in my possession, alas. I don't have the tiniest bit of substance inside Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I can't to possess the slightest bit of excrement whilst living in the state of Ohio. No garbage to be found in this area, sadly. I can't own even a trace of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to obtain even a single nonsense during living within Ohio. No junk to be found here, sadly. I lack any excrement inside the great state of Ohio.